Richard and Suzanne and Duncan's Big 2012 Road Trip
Stage 2 - Or-Lan-Dough
in and around Orlando, FL


Note: Clicking on any of the pictures will bring up a larger version, in a click-thru album for that day. Enjoy!


Another Note: The opinions and observations noted below are those we experienced at the time of the trip, and do not reflect changes in opinion caused by subsequent acts of Disney and its subsidiaries, including but not limited to ABC News, The Muppets, and other entities.


Day 8 - Saturday, June 16th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
25 miles

We just spent a week driving across most of the width of the United States, and now - a day of relaxation? Rest? Recovery?

No - we're going to Disney World!!

(what the heck are we thinking?!?)

No rest for the weary. The Mouse Waits For No One.

We reassembled ourselves after our short rest, packed ponchos and cameras, and drove under the purple signs (purple?!?) on the swooping superhighways of the Reedy Creek Improvement District until we reached the parking lot for what was once dubbed the Experimental Planned Community of Tomorrow, but is now known simply as "Epcot". Pleasantly surprised that the acres of asphalt were remarkably empty, we parked near the front and boarded the tram for a very short ride to the entrance, waving to the folks in the monorail as it quietly thrummed above us.

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Where dreams come true, and families are bankrupted OK, kid, we're finally "ear"! The fastest ride at Epcot today - the tram from the parking lot (but we're OK with that)

We stepped right up to the ticket counter, with the admission prices displayed in bold numbers above.

Whoa.

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Ka. Ching.

We've understood clearly for many years that visiting any Walt Disney Parks property is NOT an inexpensive proposition. But now we were hit with additional sticker shock, as the already-astronomical admission prices had increased to even higher levels while we were working our way across the country.

Quick family huddle. Get out calendar, Discussion. Another glance in the barren wallet. Decision.

We asked for four-day passes for two seemingly-adult-acting individuals and one confirmed child, made a solemn promise that my credit card company would pay the Walt Disney Company $799.82 (and that I would eventually hope to pay that sum back to the aforementioned credit card company someday in the distant future), took a deep breath, and stepped into Epcot.

Our attitude was improved slightly when we noted that the interior of the park was not a seething teeming mass of humanity, but instead rather uncrowded - almost quiet, in fact.

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Welcome To... The Future! We picked the PERFECT day to come.

And the attitude of our little guy was improved greatly when we were promptly greeted by two costumed Disney characters, who freely gave autographs and hugs, and (surprisingly) hadn't attracted a long line of admirers (yet).

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Daisy Duck grants her quackly autograph Daisy and Dunc! Stitch! No devouring the autograph book!

The signature structure of Epcot is the geodesic sphere of "Spaceship Earth", which holds a ride depicting mankind's ascent from primitivism into modern technology. More importantly, the attraction had a short wait and the scientific wonder of modern air conditioning, so that was our immediate first stop. Duncan really liked the impressive effects, and it made us appreciate how far we've come since stone knives and bearskins. In the displays immediately following the ride, our son performed virtual surgery (the patient lived, so we'll avoid a malpractice suit), and got a driving lesson in a virtual vehicle slightly more powerful than Mom & Dad's cars.

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The shiny ball of Spaceship Earth. Get used to it - we took a lot of pictures. ;) "But where's the cockpit? Where are the rocket engines? This is my favorite ride." Driving lessons for Duncan. He may need some work.

It's no secret that the summer weather in central Florida is warm & humid. But on this day there was a brisk breeze coming across the park, and the hourly fountain spectacular became a double bonus for Duncan as the wind took the drenching spray onto the walkways, leaving our child rather wet and thoroughly happy. And speaking of refreshment, a few short steps brought us to the carbonated craziness of "Club Cool", which features all-you-can-stand-to-guzzle fruit drinks, sodas, and other beverages sold worldwide under the Coca-Cola brand. Here is where Duncan made the discovery of the magical healing powers of ginger ale ("more! more!"), while Richard downed quite a few glasses of the bitter "Beverly" aperitif, pronouncing it "definitely different, but not bad".

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"I like Epcot!" "My favorite part about Epcot is drinking heavily!"

We then belched our way past the currently-closed Test Track ride, where a group of perky singers were extolling the wonders of Government, er, General Motors motor products, and Duncan found yet another fun little splash area (this would become a recurring theme).

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We don't remember this one being in the MUTCD! Birdhouses Of The Future! - and they're probably furnished in Midcentury Modern on the inside

Farther on in Future World is the Mission: Space attraction, where adventurous would-be astronauts can experience a remarkably realistic simulation of a flight to Mars. So realistic, in fact, that Duncan nearly freaked out when things got rather exciting near the Red Planet, and Suzanne ended up hitting the "abort!" button and ejecting to instead meet the boys near the exits.

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Reporting for duty! Yes, we're having a blast... off

One advantage of a non-crowded theme park is the ability to enjoy a lunch without having thousands of other feeding folks teeming nearby. Even though the food is rather expensive, the quality is good, and we rested our feetsies while munching our fare.

Couldn't decide what to do next (other than seek air-conditioned comfort), so we wandered into the Innoventions building to see what was inside. Next thing we know, we're drafted into the "Where's the Fire" exhibit, seeking out flammable hazards in unexpected places (which look suspiciously like our own house, in fact). This deposited us out near The Seas, where the finny folks from Pixar's "Finding Nemo" entertain visitors, and the more-adventurous can tour the enormous tank containing real living sharks, dolphins, and even a happy manatee or two. For a few dollars more (which we didn't have), guests can put on a diving suit and enter the tank for a swim - this was used by a family to notify the relatives behind the thick glass that a new arrival was on the way (and ensuing shrieks of happiness almost cracked the walls of the place).

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We'll 'sea' this too! Oh, the huge manatee! Oh well, guess that does it for that kid...

The afternoon sun was lowering in the western sky as the skywriting plane completed its task of scribbling "TRUST JESUS" before the upper-level winds scattered the message from above, and we thought it might be fun to see what little Figment was up to in the Imagination Pavilion. Alas, this attraction closes early and the the final show of the day had completed, and Duncan was most displeased - and started using his imagination to think of ways of retaliating against those nasty Disney people ("STOP THAT!") But moments later, the dancing waters beside the pavilion has fully captured his interest, and all evil thoughts were washed away with the laminar flow of the arcing jets & bloops.

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He's still "all ears" Mysterious messages appear in the Florida sky My, what delicious ears you have!
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Duncan: "That's the biggest spikiest dodgeball that I've ever seen!" A refreshing break on a warm summer day Hello, little Disney duckie!

A very large part of Epcot is devoted to the World Showcase, featuring the best and greatest from many nations around the globe. However, a glance at the watch noted we'd have to do about one country every 15 minutes before closing time - and that doesn't include time to watch the fireworks. So we rushed through Canada, saw the beer-fueled happy anarchy in the U.K., flitted fast through France, and finally slowed down for funnel cakes and a big slab of ice cream in the American Experience as a remarkably good Eagles tribute band blasted their way through several 70s hits. At the stores in this area, we received our first exposure to "Duffy The Bear", a new character which Disney is seemingly heck-bent on pushing as the latest Must-Have Stuffed Creature. Although we successfully resisted the sales pitch, Duncan did get to make and color a free Duffy-themed hand fan, so we did do our part in a small way for American commerce in Chinese-made bears.

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Sunset on the many-nationed lagoon I'd like to make a long-distance phone call... Delightful Duffy

Soon after, the booms of fireworks over the lagoon filled the Epcot air, and the glowing dome of Spaceship Earth was joined by other brightly lit and colored displays (including an impressive animated globe floating in the water) as the music theme extolled global peace, harmony, and happiness (never mind all those pesky thousand-year-old disagreements). But at the conclusion of the aerial bombardment, it truly was time for Epcot's day to end, and so we trudged through rapidly-closing Morocco and Mexico, and slowly set course for the faraway exits, helped by friendly cast members performing their nightly duties.

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Big ball in the tranquil twilight Flashy fireworks to close out an Epcot evening Variegated hues on the corrugated sphere

Time to go? Well, Duncan had other plans. Upon spying a still-operating splash area on the outskirts of Future World, he immediately cut loose and jumped in at full speed - and fully clothed, no less. We actually didn't mind much, as we needed a rest on that long one-mile haul from far end to exit, and the giggles and shrieks of our happy boy was providing quite a bit of entertainment to the still-surging crowds also heading out the gates ("no, we won't need to give him a shower tonight!") But eventually they had to close and clean the park for the next days' crowds, and so all three of us left some wet footprints out to the Monte and back to the Quality.

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"This is the BEST NIGHT EVERRRRR!!!" Good night, Epcot!

Day 9 - Sunday, June 17th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
4 miles

Sometimes a vacation needs a day off.

But that wasn't the original plan.

The idea for this day was to visit the Kennedy Space Center to continue our astro-adventures, but a pre-check of the admissions prices for just the basic tour ($120+?!?) induced a Mode One Bravo abort and a modified mission plan.

We've been on the road for seven straight days, followed immediately by a visit to Epcot. Hey, how about a day of rest? Good idea!

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Happy Fathers Day!

And so it was that we took the day off. By which we mean, of course, that we stayed busy organizing our junk, catching up on trip notes, and sorting through several hundred photos. And Duncan finally got a chance to visit that clear blue swimming pool that's been tempting him since we arrived, and as far as he was concerned, that pool was a lot more fun than any dumb Atlantic Ocean or another space complex. Plus, some other kids staying at the hotel came down for a splash, and several hours were consumed by flying beach balls and burbling bubbles.

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C'mon, Dad, just a bit more air... Playing in the pool with a new gang of buds

Around mid-afternoon, our bellies were making noise as well, and so it seemed fitting to explore International Drive's collection of interesting eating establishments. Although we knew Friendly's as more of a New England experience from our past vacations, we figured one of their Florida locations couldn't be all bad. And once the minor misunderstandings on the combo meals were worked out, the food was good, and Duncan devoured his "Sand Castle Sundae" (fortunately, actual sand not included).

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Friendly's! Everyone's happy - even the gator! A yummy sundae on a Sunday

Then an extended cruise up I-Drive to see all the odd souvenir shops, water parks, and go-kart tracks, back to the room for more low-key vegetation, and that was it. Wait - one more thing: for an evening snack, we did visit another so-called "world's largest McDonald's" (this time not over a turnpike in Oklahoma). This place wasn't exactly relaxing, as the clang & clongs of videogames mixed with the screams of overexcited kids of a variety of nationalities. And the "value menu" was nowhere to be seen. But Dunc liked the (free) play maze while the parents tried to find a quiet corner, and then back to the Q to rest up for the next interesting day.

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Making contact with strange alien objects at Bargain World The World's Largest McDonald's* (that's not over a turnpike, or in a foreign country...) Who needs theme parks? Free play with lots of kids is fun!

Day 10 - Monday, June 18th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
34 miles

We're rested and ready, and now it's time to really get into the Disney experience. So south on I-4, west on US 192, and back north on the purple-signed highways (seems like a long way for a short trip), to the smiling fourteen-dollar-collecting booth attendant, more smiling faces directing us to park out in row 63 (don't you have anything closer?), and grab everything we'll need for many hours of non-stop fun at the Busiest Theme Park On Earth - the Magic Kingdom at Disney World.

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Ya know, for $14, they oughta provide some entertainment for the vehicles too...

OK, let's have some fun. Not that easy. First, the tram from the distant reaches of the miles of parking to the Transportation Center. No, you can't just walk into the park - there's a big ol' lagoon in the way. Choices: monorail or ferryboat? Each one had massive lines, but the watery option seemed to be moving a bit faster. Waitwaitwait. Be entertained by cast members. Hop on boat. Feel like refugee with steamy teeming crowds. Cross lagoon, wave to patrol boats. Look for alligators.

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Galumphing over the lagoon in the ferryboat

And there it is - shimmering in the humid heat above the water - Cinderella's Castle - no, Space Mountain. Close enough. We're almost there!

Not quite. Undock. Trot over to Security. Open pockets, backpacks, knapsacks, strollers, carryalls, and small children. Yay! There yet? Not quite. Get out tickets. Pass them through reader. Use biometric fingerprint scanner to prove we're the same people who used them on Saturday. What do you mean, bzzzt? I got yer bzzt here, buddy...

And after an hour or more of multimodal shuffling, we walk under the railroad viaduct and enter the Magic Kingdom proper.

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We're going to Disney World! - oh wait, we're already here The impressive Castle of Cinderella. Get used to it.

Looks like everyone got here first. A wall of mostly-happy humanity roasting in the Florida sun.

Slowly bumble our way up Main Street. Ice Cream? YES! And not a bad price. Things are muuuuccchhh better, now that you mention it...

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Walt, Mickey, and Duncan from a different angle

After the "Something or Other Parade" cleared a path for us, we ducked sideways into Tomorrowland, thinking that a jump into the future might help. Long lines for many things, but the Peoplemover was moving well, and Duncan loved the circuitous trip around the wonders of Tomorrowland - and the super-bouncy Goodyear Speedramp up and down was a bonus! Then lurking under the guideway - rodents? From the future? Yes! And Dunc was speedy enough to get a great place in line to see Chip n' Dale and have them sign his autograph book, while many other character-seeking characters extended (and extended, and extended) the line behind us.

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Rodents... From The Future!

In the distance, we could hear the grumble of small-displacement motors, and so we followed the scent of hydrocarbons to the Tomorrowland Speedway. Duncan got a chance to show off how much he'd learned about driving from close observation of his parents (Son, don't use those words...) and we zipped and bumped around the swoopy track.

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Didn't we get enough driving already? Brings a new meaning to "a can short of an oil change" We're the ones on the right
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Duncan, you can drive my car... I can do this on the way home, Mom & Dad!

Once parked, a short walk deposited us in the Carousel of Progress, where the air-cooled comfort and seating was wonderful, and the exhibition of technological process was very entertaining - especially the already-20-years-out-of-date "modern" scene.

Desperately trying to get "It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" out of our heads, we fumbled over to Fantasyland, and even more crowds. Long lines for everything, and half the area (or more) is fenced off as part of a complete reconstruction. But what do we see hiding behind Goofy's biplane? Casey's circus train - repurposed as a splash area? Yes! Duncan made a beeline, not even bothering to strip off clothes as he jumped under the expectorating elephants and squirting simians with all the other kids (and even a few adults). Kudos to the Disney folks for creating these refreshing and entertaining oases to combat the Florida heat.

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Casey Jr. Splash - the happiest place in the park 'round midafternoon Elephant snot is so refreshing!

Dampened and happy, we thought it might be a good idea to explore new frontiers - how about Frontierland? Right next to Casey is the Disneyland Railroad station, and in a few short minutes the choo-choo trundled us around the Magic Kingdom and over to the Frontierland Station on the west side of the park.

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Allll aboooarrdddd! Taking the train 'round the Magic Kingdom

And soon after disembarking, the thought of a late lunch seemed desirable, and we sauntered through the doors of Pecos Bill's Tall Tale Inn to grab some grub. Again, the prices were expensive and the lines long, and there was an ordering error that resulted in a slightly grumbly family, but a manager quickly stepped in and resolved the issue to everyone's full satisfaction.

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Big mouth above the place o' grub

Presumed fed. Now what? Arrrrr we ready for our scurvy band of scalawags to fly the Jolly Roger? Yeah, we did Pirates of the Caribbean, and noted that if one ever got tired of counting "Hidden Mickeys" in the park, they could try counting "Injected Depps" on this old-yet-revamped ride. And then came the gift shop with its interesting implements, such as rubber manacles (and the ball & chain for the ol'... never mind.)

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Arrrr! This be a holdup! Several easily-detonated items in one place

Mid-afternoon, and shade is still a good idea. So farther into deepest Adventureland, and a seat on the Jungle Cruise, where the animatronic animals are threatening and the bad jokes truly deadly.

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Our brave adventurer on the Jungle Cruise Egads! Moisturized heffalumps!

Then from below-grade puns to lofty heights in the Swiss Family Treehouse, where the views were impressive and the absence of lines allowed for some peaceful reflection above the bustling crowds below.

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We love the Swiss Family Treehouse! And the view from the treehouse is rather impressive too. Make that very impressive.

And then to another Adventureland attraction - the Magic Carpet, which combines the charm of Dumbo with shorter lines - and a mischievous camel that sprays unwary ridegoers who venture too low as they float by.

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Weaving thru the Magic Carpet ride The whole family called on the carpet

A visit to Disney World (or Disneyland, for that matter) just isn't complete without a few moments with the silly squawkers of the Enchanted Tiki Room. And we made sure to sit right next to one of those burly baritone tiki carvings along the back wall, just to get the full effect (no, son, don't feed him your snack...)

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Enchanted Tiki Dunc! The tiki gods spit on us pathetic humans - and we love it!

And, with the addition of Mickey-shaped ice cream to get us into a properly island-focused mood, why not float over to Tom Sawyer Island? Nope - we'd just missed the final boats. Was this unbearable? No - the bears are around the corner, at the Country Bear Jamboree, which offers even more rootin' tootin' entertainment in air-conditioned comfort.

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The inevitable race of time between ice cream and the Florida sun Me? Messy?
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The all-too-"bear"able Country Bear Jamboree :) "There was blood on the saddle..."

Night was falling as we skirted Liberty Square, and the crowds were beginning to thin out as we cautiously approached the foreboding shape of the Haunted Mansion. As if by some sinister magic, the lines to enter had disapparated, and we were ushered into its depths to face some ghastly scenes (and the occasional silly spook, as the song reminds us). And now to go from Gothic ghouls to terror of another kind, as we bravely boarded the boats to face the oppressive optimism of "It's a Small World." Of course, now we have another song stuck in our heads, so the best therapy is to spin it out of our heads in the tiny teacups of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.

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Twilight descends on the spires Angular momentum in fine china can be fun! Spun him so fast he turned into a ghost!

Duncan: "I like the ones at Enchanted Island better."

"Boom!"Our post-teacup position immediately adjacent to Cinderella's Castle gave us a good view of the evening fireworks, but a little bit of maneuvering to the outer reaches of Tomorrowland worked out even better. And since we're back in Tomorrowland, why not visit Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin and the Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor? The Laugh Floor was a lot of fun (even if they didn't use Duncan's joke), and kept us pleasantly amused as we spilled back onto the streets of the past's future.

It's now nearing midnight, but the fun continues as the late-shift Electrical Parade made its illuminated way through the remaining crowds. Then back to Fantasyland for a few post-midnight rides, including the twinkling vistas of Peter Pan, and a bit of horsing around on the carousel.

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Parade electrifies the late-night crowds Horseplay on the carousel

Some hernia-inducing hilarity at the Sword in the Stone, where Duncan was very disappointed that the father he looks up to as a paragon of strength and virtue couldn't budge the blade ("OK, kid, if I could find the switch for the solenoid, it'd be a different story...")

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You're too young for a hernia, son... Maybe Dad can help. OK, maybe not.

The clocks were striking one AM as the cast of the Magic Kingdom was gently urging us to depart. One last look at the color-changing castle, a sore-footed stroll up Main Street, up to the monorail for the ride around the lagoon, and a tired tram ride back to the Monte waiting patiently in the vast empty expanses of the Peter Pan section of the lot. Mustered up the force of will to stay awake for the drive home, and tumble into bed about 2ish, and off to magical (or maybe not-so-magical) dreams.

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Tired of the castle yet? Bye-bye!

Day 11 - Tuesday, June 19th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
26 miles

Had a low-key start to the day, with Richard foraging for food at the so-called "buffet" downstairs. The promotional materials for the hotel promised a bounty of favorable fare, but the reality is rather sparse - a few pieces of grayish sausage (if you can get to them fast enough), hard-boiled eggs resembling vending-machine superballs, some sort of circular egg-based objects, cereal in hard-to-extract machinery, a few yogurts huddling in the fridge, toast (if you wanted to wait for the glacially-slow toasters), and a complete and utter absence of potato products. Now add in hundreds of hungry guests from varying cultures and backgrounds, and voila! Not exactly inspiring. But it's free.

Back in the room, Duncan was providing low-cost entertainment by producing, directing, and starring in that new extravaganza: "Pirate Duncan" - so big it takes two rooms of our suite to hold it all! And then, the sequel: "Pirate Duncan 2"! We laughed! We cried! We like it better than Cats!

So now that these displays of overt thespianism are complete, what else do we want to do today? How about croco-dialing up some fun at a reptilirific place like Gatorland?

For over 60 years, Gatorland has lurked next to Orange Blossom Trail south of Orlando, providing cold-blooded family entertainment to generations of visitors. We arrived under the big green jaws terrorizing the parking lot (which survived the fire several years ago) and paid our admission fee (AAA discount - you mean alligator-amputated arms? ;) and headed onto the boardwalks above the teeming hordes of toothy future boots and purses.

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Our tasty little morsel in the jaws of Gatorland The scenic Gatorland lagoon A plethora of reptilians
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Acquaintance? Business partner? Long-lost sibling? Lurking in the murky water The gators are glad to see you!

First on the schedule was the jumpa- no, wait, Duncan's seen the splash area, and off he goes! Oversized storks sprayed him thoroughly, gator-shaped spray gun stations made for thrilling target practice, and a contraption contrived out of colorful buckets did its part to douse the squawking kiddies.

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Gators? What gators? I wanna get wet! Kids cavorting around the fiberglass reptiles
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Buckets of water, barrels of fun Wet the birdies!

OK, back to the actual gators, who have been waiting patiently for a spare child to tumble onto their lair. One of the attractions is the "Gator Jumparoo", where very unaerodynamic alligators are coaxed into brief flight by chunks of tempting raw chicken poised just above the water's surface. Several sets of jaws did shoot out of the muck and snap down a snack, and even though the landings were a bit... clumsy, it still made for somewhat exciting entertainment.

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OK, let's see if gators can fly. I may not be aerodynamic, but for a whole raw chicken, I'll make an exception...

Another show offered by Gatorland is the alligator wrestling demonstration, where poor defenseless staff members do battle with bloodthirsty merciless (but mostly lazy) alligators.

The steps are simple:

1. Obtain one complete alligator.
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2. Place the alligator appropriately in the arena. The tail may be used as a handle. Mind the jaws.
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3. Assist the gator in healthy stretching exercises.
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4. Showing off can be fatal. Do it anyway.
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5. Verify that the alligator is demonstrating proper dental hygiene.
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6. Goof around for the tourists.
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A man and his gator - it's a beautiful thing. Hey, thanks for propping up my chin with your snout! Who wants a bellyrub?

Speaking of prehistoric throwbacks: as we were leaving the arena of doom, Duncan sighted an interesting-looking machine beside the boardwalk. Richard immediately recognized it as a relic from his childhood - a genuine Mold-A-Rama machine, still shaping polymers after several decades. Realizing that this involved high pressures, heat, and Dad's money, Duncan of course wanted to see the machinery do its stuff, and we were happy to indulge. "Moosh" went the rams and "Woosh" went the plastic and air, and soon a piping hot blow-molded reptile popped out the chute and into eager hands ("ouch!!")

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Yay! Mold-A-Rama! Got my brand-new injection-molded alligator!

Then a spin through the well-stocked gift shop and out by the jaws, and then a glance at the watch...

"Uh oh, we're late for the reception."

This was a cue for the entire population of southern Orange County to take to the roads for the sole purpose of impeding our progress, and it was a slow slog indeed back to the hotel and the shuttle to the event. But we barely made the bus, and soon were at the road-builders reception. We rubbed elbows and swapped stories with all the chief traffic engineers from the assembled states, and Richard plotted strategery with NCUTCD folks for the following days' meetings. When the opportunity presented, Suz & Dunc stepped out for some fresh air & fountain play, and prowled the splendor of the adjacent shops.

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Cuban restaurant at the Pointe Orlando - site of the ARTBA reception "I wish for lots more Orlando fun!"

Let's wind down this day with an I-drive. Cruised until we saw a sign saying "ice cream", then carefully turned into the driveway - and almost caused an international incident by nearly annihilating a large group of hard-to see Asian pre-teen tourists milling in the middle of the dark parking lot. Diplomacy & politeness succeeded, and soon scoops of Edy's (ha! we like Dreyer's better) were in our bowls and on our spoons. What a great idea, Dad!

...until Richard's intermittent reflux issues, triggered by our evening treat, spread their acidic misery up and down his overworked digestive system in the middle of the night. Urgh and ugh indeed - and does that darn calendar show early meetings tomorrow...?


Day 12 - Wednesday, June 20th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
about 1 mile of walking

The strains of Kate Bush's "Waking the Witch" on the iPhone's alarm were certainly not all that welcome after such a digestively-unstable evening. But it's time to actually do what we drove all the way across the nation to do, and so Richard grabbed the laptop and projector and trudged the block or so south to the Wyndham Orlando, as the early morning sun began to bake.

For the first few hours, Mr. Moeur had to be in two places at once - at the AASHTO Subcommittee on Traffic Engineering meeting at one end of the conference center, and a session on bicycling education at the other end, featuring the Cycling Savvy curriculum developed here in Orlando. And in between, a gantlet of other conferences in varying stages of convening, including a gaggle of evangelicals and a phalanx of postsecondary educators (and they had nicer snacks, too). But both ends were eventually covered, albeit at some cost in energy.

In the afternoon, the National Committee on Uniform Traffic Control Devices summer meetings commenced, and Richard put on his committee chairman hat (figuratively, anyway) and semi-skillfully herded the discussion in a productive direction. Then a Board of Directors meeting, where Richard suggested putting together a Facebook page for NCUTCD, and was thereby directed to do so), and then a rain-soaked walk back to the Quality.

Hey, what about Duncan & Suzanne? Didn't they have fun? Why yes they did - after many loads of laundry, that is. They had an exciting morning at the hotel laundry watching the machines rattle and thrum as they cleaned the accumulated grime off our attire. But the day became better with a visit to a different mouse - there's a Chuck E. Cheese pizza place just behind the hotel, and the afternoon was filled with marinara sauce and hundreds of tickets won at the arcade - enough, we think, to balance the budget of a small European country. These were traded in for Valuable (ahem) Prizes, including a picture frame that we're sure we'll fill with just the right photo from this journey.

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Saves on baths & towels to just throw him in along with the permanent-press
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The Big Cheese and his new minion Pedaling his way to destiny (but not Destin) I won! I won! I won! I won! (repeat 234 times)
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Selecting the Important Artifacts Lookitmynewcoolpictureframe! You mean these won't get me into the bar down the street?

Day 13 - Thursday, June 21st, 2012
Orlando, FL to Clearwater & Bradenton, FL & back (for Suzanne & Duncan)
258 miles

What did Richard do most of today? Meetings.

So let's have fun with Suzanne & Duncan instead!

Today, Suzanne steered her pretty red Monte southwest on I-4 toward the Tampa area for some Gulfocentric glee. Across the causeways to Clearwater they cruised until they reached the home of a true-blue movie star (or maybe true-gray) - the Clearwater Marine Aquarium, where the world-famous Winter the Dolphin resides. Winter, star of the recent movie "Dolphin Tale", is notable for her prosthetic aft appendage, which through the miracle of science allows her to swim and frolic almost like new. Winter was in fine form this morning greeting the crowds, and Duncan even had the honor of touching & examining her techno-tail (when she wasn't wearing it, of course). And there are more seasons to the place than just Winter - many displays on local marine life, some items from the film, and a very active rescue and rehabilitation program, where unwell creatures are nursed back to health.

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First destination - the Clearwater Marine Aquarium on the Gulf of Mexico Tackled by a turtle OK, Mr. Dolphin - we're on...
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And now, the world-famous star of a Major Motion Picture - Winter the Dolphin! Getting to hold Winter's hi-tech prosthetic tail Got our own lil' Winter!
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Duncan makes a card for Winter Even places to play here! Aquarium teeming with swift sea life
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Fishing time! Squeezing the sponges "Tooth" much fun!

The Tampamonium continues as Suzanne sets course southward - and promptly turns on Old US 19 instead of US 19 proper. Time to use all available navigational aids, including a phone call to Richard, who was able to track their progress using the "Find My Friends" app and provide gentle guidance suggestions. And once back on course, up and over the cable-stayed wonder of the Sunshine Skyway, and down a few more streets, they entered Bradenton and their next destinations.

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Under the cable stays of the Sunshine Skyway and over Tampa Bay

At the Parker Aquarium of the South Florida Museum lives another water-borne celebrity - Snooty the Manatee! Snooty, born at a tackle shop almost 64 years ago, is possibly the world's oldest member of his species, and his easygoing demeanor and long and well-scrutinized life has yielded many smiles from visitors - and more that a few insights for researchers trying to find out more about the gentle yet threatened giants. Also, given the fact we live in about as manatee-free a state as there can be, Duncan and his mom appreciated this opportunity to be close to these enormous yet exotic mammals.

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South Florida Museum - home of "Snooty" the manatee The manatees congregate for munchies And here's Snooty!

And only a half mile away from Snooty's space is the office of one of Suzanne's school chums (and given the small size of their school, that's saying something). Terry Thompson, CEO of Webtivity Designs, went to grade & high school with Suzanne way up in the teeny town of Trout Creek, Michigan - and has since relocated to sunny Florida and built a successful Web development company. It was great to see old friends and savor recent successes, and Duncan just liked poking and prowling around the new offices.

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Hi, Terry!

In the evening hours, once Suz & Dunc returned from their Tampa-tour and Richard was released from the testiness of his technical committee, we and many of the NCUTCD folks headed south about half a mile to Cafe Tu Tu Tango, an I-Drive hot spot known for good food, folk art, and a festive funky atmosphere. We saluted our friend John LaPlante for his many years of chairing the pedestrian committee (and vice-chairing the bike committee), and enjoyed the alligator appetizers and roving belly dancers (but didn't really love the ambient noise level resembling the inside of a jet engine). Duncan brought Legos, and other kids at the table (of a wide variety of actual chronological ages) had a great time making cool cars, strange structures, and even a highway sign or two. The gang broke up with farewells and fond wishes, and then to the hotel for some well-earned sleep after a busy day.

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And after all that travel and meetings, dinner with the gang John LaPlante receives a lovely parting gift Duncan and Chance cavort on the lawn

Day 14 - Friday, June 22nd, 2012
in Orlando, FL
28 miles

The morning began with Richard once more doing battle with the volleyballing teenyboppers for a snausage or two from the so-called "breakfast buffet" at the Quality, and then trudging down to the Wyndham for a final day of Important NCUTCD Meetings. Made sure to wear a clean shirt this time, as his unenviable task today was to convince nearly 40 of his colleagues on the National Committee Council, each averaging 25+ years of traffic engineering experience, and with gimlet-eyed attitudes that would put the mere term "skeptical" to shame, that they should approve the latest proposal from the Bicycle Technical Committee. Words were smithed and positions were debated, and the section on bicycle guide sign layout was mercilessly savaged, but after all was said & done (and much was said indeed) the Committee approved and blessed the proposal, giving us the rest of the day to frolic and play.

But where to go on this afternoon? How about back to Disney? And we set forth south on Interstate 4, only to run into a fusterclucking traffic jam of monumental proportions, accentuated by buzzing helicopters everywhere. It seems that a fellow named Barack H. Somethingorother had decided to visit the area that very same day, and for some reason the Highway Patrol saw fit to close off nearly every highway in central Florida - including, of course, the purple-signed roads which we so desperately sought. We eventually found a circuitous route into the complex, passing many of the brightly-painted resorts with their myriad themes, until we targeted that big-eared water tower in the windshield and zoomed into the Disney Hollywood Studios parking lot before they had a chance to close that road too.

Took the usual tram ride from the farthest reaches of the parking lot, as we swapped stories of how we evaded the Secret Service-snarled traffic (and Richard grumbled under his breath for a bit), then the usual security search (only this time with a much more pleasant officer), and then under the Art Deco gates and onto "Hollywood Boulevard" - just in time to run smack-dab into yet another parade.

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Another Disney park, another iconic item in the background Does this hat make my head look small?
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One more day in the Disney rat race Oooooohhhhh!

Once the final character-laden float rolled behind the gates, we surged forward into the park proper - only to notice that a few little black clouds had followed the parade into the park. OK, make that big billowing nasty electrically-enhanced all-natural Florida storm clouds. And the torrent was unleashed from the heavens in a manner befitting a so-called studio, and we scrambled to don our ponchos before getting thoroughly soaked. This also meant the stunt show and Jedi academy were abruptly cancelled as well, and we pondered our options as the rain pounded us.

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Choose only genuine Acme Signals! Today's theme: wet!

Well, the good news was the rain was chasing the crowds away, and after we slopped our way over to Star Tours, we were astounded that this perennially-popular attraction had no line at all - just hop in and take off for your destination in the vast galaxy (or wherever you end up - which of course will be light-years away from your luggage). And we slapped the seat belts over our wet bodies and departed for Coruscant, er, make that Hoth, um, now it's Naboo - hey, where's the CSR around here? In addition, a new twist in this ride is that there are over fifty permutations on the thumpy bumpy journey, so every time you ride it, it's likely to be different. And so right back into the very short line, strap in again, and this time meet Mr. Vader himself, who for some reason wasn't tickled at our travels. But several strange stops later, out the back doors, survive the gift shop ("canIgetadroidpleeease?") and into the drippy streets.

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C-3PO sends us to the wrong Star Tours destination. And they lost our luggage. Twice. Speedy speeder boy!

Right around the corner, a fur-filled theatre appeared, enticing us with promises of Muppets in full three-dimensional sight and sound. Duncan was delighted by the show, even though the parents had to explain who most of characters were to him, and it was good to spend a few moments with the generation-spanning hand-manipulated friends we'd known since our childhoods.

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In Threeeeee Deee!! The Starship Swinetrek

Let's stop for a minute here. Richard, always the empirical and practical sort, had historically had a low tolerance for anything with "studios" in its name, partly due to his ever-growing antipathy for the buckets of merde' that the Media-Industrial Complexes keep churning out, and partly because they aren't really "studios" at all - just theme parks with a tenuously film-related tie-in. So he initially wasn't exactly entirely thrilled about this part of the Disney Experience (and the travel travails just trying to get here didn't help). But by now the pixie dust (or perhaps the allergy medicine taken to fight the symptoms of pixie dust) was beginning to adjust his attitude, and he figured he'd just relax and go with the rain-enhanced "flow".

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OK, now the green is on the bottom... Proud of his Disney Studios penny

But when Duncan completed his stroll up the streets of San Francisco and noodled through New York City (or at least a realistic backdrop thereof), he was devastated that the way-cool "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" playground was temporarily closed due to the downpour, and so he waited impatiently as the staff squeegeed the colossal dirt clods and oversized ants. But once the gate was reopened and he and the other eager tykes accessed the webs, hoses, and slides, all was well in this overenlarged vignette of a slightly unusual backyard.

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Yo! We're in Noo Yawk City! A very sad little boy on the mean streets since the play area closed We're gonna need a bigger can of bug spray...

All this climbing and crawling had worked up an appetite, and so we clunked past the oversize Coke bottles over to the feedin' places. The buffet sounded enticing, but the $35-per-person price tag sent us reeling. The black & white TVs of the Prime Time Cafe sounded fun, but were still out of our price range. So we ended up at Rosie's at the Ranch Market, and the burgers were filling as the ducks quacked their way around our feet.

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Cool and refreshing! The boys rasslin' before supper

Post-dinner entertainment started out a bit fishy, as the "Little Mermaid" stage show entertained us with its laser lights, fog, and finny-fun acting. Just outside, more shops (this is Disney, after all) laden with merchandise linked to recent releases and past classics. The posted flapping above noted that "Brave" was opening today nationwide, and so Suzanne thought it was only fitting that one of the cuddly black bear cubs (Hubert, or should that be "Hu-bear?") should follow us around and become part of the traveling menagerie. Across a plaza or two, there's an exhibit highlighting the story of Walt Disney's life and career, and noting how a boy from Missouri could revolutionize animation, singlehandedly create the modern concept of an amusement park, and turn many miles of Florida swampland into a cash-sucking megalopolis.

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The inalienable right to bear bears Robo-Lincoln!

Now it's late and the rain's washed the streets, but still time for a bit more fun. Earlier in the day, the wait for "Toy Story Midway Mania" was measured in hours, but now near closing time the delay was much more manageable as we navigated the Tinkertoys and withstood abuse from an oversize Potato Head (Hey! That's Mister Potato Head to you!) And soon we were on the ride shooting virtual projectiles in ballistic trajectories at a dizzying variety of targets - and Duncan made his parents proud by scoring almost 68,000 points.

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Toy Story... Mania! Invaluable training in ballistic trajectories Silliness In The Third Dimension
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Our starchy desperado "Trout Creek is right here!" The attraction is made entirely of Tinkertoys?
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Hello, Space Ranger!

Time to go - the park's closing down. We shuffled through the puddles under the clanging Acme signals still changing from red to green with their swooshing semaphores, noting that Disney's version of Hollywood Boulevard was far too clean to resemble the original we know too well (and without all those, um, unique smells and characters, either...) Then the tram and the car, and a cruise down traffic-clogged streets back to the hotel for what we hoped would be a relaxing rest.

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"This place has been GREAT!" A busy and wet day winds down Hollywood Boulevard is much quieter now (hey, wait - it's way too clean to be Hollywood...)

Not quite. As we might have noted earlier, most of our hotel had been taken over by hyperactive teen volleyballers in town for a big AAU tournament. And now they were blowing off some energy with singing contests from the balconies and synchronized swimming in the courtyard pool, with a conga line snaking from floor to floor.

Sounds wonderful - except it's after midnight, folks. Can we save it for tomorrow???

After a call or two (and a threatened visit from the sheriff's office), peace and quiet again descended on the suites, and Hubert, Winter, and Allidilla tucked in next to Duncan to ensure a peaceful sleep filled with happy dreams.

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Winter, Allidilla, and the other babies snuggle Duncan to sleep after a wet and busy day

Day 15 - Saturday, June 23rd, 2012
in Orlando, FL
28 miles

Four-day pass, three parks down. Anyone up for one more day of Disney?

Back down the freeway on this overcast Saturday morning, and an exit under the signs leading to the fourth theme park of the Disney World complex, the zoo-and-much-more of Disney's Animal Kingdom. We didn't really know what to expect as we had our fingers scanned one last time and strolled through the turnstiles - would it be a zoological preserve, or a theme park, or something else?

Apparently all of the above, and then some.

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It's a red car-nation! Strange-looking animals run loose in front of the entrance

The entry section of the park had us thinking "zoo", as the iguanas, muntjacs, and macaws went about their business in their enclosures. But then over the bridge and down the path, and the park quickly changes, with dinosaurs, river rapids, and safaris beckoning for attention.

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'I-guana' pose for a close-up! Because of their claws? No, because they're macaws! (Wait, wrong park...)

The centerpiece of Animal Kingdom is the Tree of Life, a massive arboreal monolith, which incorporates images of animals from across the globe under its spreading branches. Burrowed deep in the trunk is the "It's Tough to Be a Bug" attraction, where visitors can experience firsthand the pleasures and perils of insect existence in 3-D splendor. The special effects were rather... special, and the "insecticide" sequence did have Suzanne feeling a bit buggy. But despite our not having six appendages, we survived, and crept our way on to other interesting places.

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The Tree Of Life. Kinda like the Circle of Life, but you can make 2x4s out of it. And now some people get in the way of the view I got 3-D bug eyes!

A very short distance later (and a few hundred million years earlier) is Dinoland, a very entertaining part of this very large park. The attractions in this area are of a variety of types: a wide range of dino-themed carnival rides and games, some "food-a-saurus" eateries, and a vast play area containing a very realistic replica of an archaeological excavation site. Duncan really "dug" this place, and spent quite a long time unearthing mammoth bones and other items, while Dad was marveling at the amazing variety of colorful minerals and remarkably uniform gradation in the Disney-quality sand (much of which seemingly ended up in our shoes for the rest of the trip).

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Welcome to Dinoland! This looks like fun! Big happy yellow herbivore gazes serenely over his dino-domain
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In the belly of the spinning beast High-velocity triceratops Speaking of nearly-extinct items: button-copy highway signs!
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Make no bones about it - Duncan likes this place Can youuuuu dig it? Excavational excitement for the whole family
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A most interesting gradation & composition in the dino-sand - plus no fines at all But it does seem to stick to everything.

"Dad! Look! Whack-A-Pachycephalosaurus! Can we do it?"

Instantly, Richard's eyes glazed over as his mind flashed back to state fairs and amusement centers of decades long past. Now Mr. Moeur the elder may not have been a Skee-Ball genius or claw machine master, but Whack-A-Whatever: that was a game that he owned. The best. Unchallenged. Many tried to beat him. Many walked away very empty-handed.

"Sure, son, let's play."

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Time for "Whack-A-Packycephalosaur"! Our prize: "Mr. Lizard"!

After Dad, er, Duncan received his new stuffed chameleon (now dubbed "Mr. Lizard"), we ran into some acquaintances of ours from the NCUTCD meeting who were also visiting the Animal Kingdom that day. Seeing the happiness radiating from Duncan caused by acquisition of his fuzzy lil' reptile, they most graciously offered to add the bat they'd just won to our son's menagerie. And so it was that little blue "Batty" joined our merry band, and accompanied us around the park and beyond.

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"These nice folks gave me a bat! Yay!!" Yes, I'm having fun here. Why do you ask?

Time for food yet? The smell of savory sauce from the Flame Tree BBQ led us to lunch under its elaborately-carved awnings near the pond, where the "Don't Feed The Animals" signs provided convenient cover for the ducks, birds, squirrels, and bunnies that comprised the area's clean-up crew for spilled fries or dumped drinks.

So far, we haven't taken a safari - let's rectify that. At the far end of the park, remarkably realistic oversized rovers (at least realistic in the lack of suspension) transport visitors for several miles out to where giraffes graze, elephants entertain, crocodiles cruise, and rhinos do whatever they darn well please. This jouncy bouncy ride under the baobab trees may not have been the wisest choice right after lunch, but we put on a brave face and enjoyed the travel.

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Snapping photos of the wild things You bet 'giraffe' you'll see wildlife!
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Hippopotamuses have many uses Meet the Pachyderm family Happily wallowing rhinoceri

One "feature" of Disney theme parks is the ability for visitors to meet & greet Disney characters in various locations. These range from the legendary corporate mainstays such as Mickey and Goofy all the way to the downright esoteric (is that Russell and Dug from "Up"?). But one almost all of them share one same trait - very long lines. Now Duncan has been patiently carrying around his autograph book waiting for his chance for a smile and a hug, but we didn't want to spend all day standing around for the privilege. So it was a wonder indeed when we spied Baloo and King Louie from "The Jungle Book" waving to us through the trees - and with no line at all! Duncan was more than happy to get Baloo's signature and the furry photo opportunity - even if we had to explain later just exactly who those two were (the parents sure knew!) Perhaps it is time to start looking for videos at yard sales or eBay to bring our son's cultural references up to speed...

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Hiya, Baloo & Louie! Proof that ice cream is a mood-altering substance

Over in the Asian section is the Maharaja Jungle Trek, a walking path leading to exotic lizards, a gang of humongous (real) bats hanging uncomfortably close to the viewing areas, aviaries filled with birds sporting iridescent plumage, and majestic tigers prowling and splashing just behind what we hoped was cat-proof glass. This was actually a quite enjoyable way to spend a late afternoon, and the guides along the way provided useful facts and pleasant conversation.

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'Mr. Kipling' on his day off? Fruit bats just hanging out Hello, little birdie!
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Would you like me to sell you some cornflakes or gasoline? Stripes strolling the grounds
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That looks like a yummy snack... Now who wants a bellyrub???

There's only one drawback to a visit to the Animal Kingdom - it closes much earlier than the other parks to let the animals get a good night's rest, and our available time was quickly diminishing. So we toodled diagonally across the park as fast as our feets would take us to the far reaches of Camp Minniemickey, and the pavilion containing the "Festival of the Lion King" musical show. Widely regarded as one of the best shows anywhere, this exciting spectacular made for a high-spirited ending to our Disney park experience.

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The "Lion King Celebration" - a fitting finale

And after saying bye-bye to Simba and the gang, we slowly strolled over the bridges and past the flocks of brilliant white birds settling down in the trees, posed for a couple more goofy photos, boarded the tram out to the lonely red coupe in the distant expanse of the parking lot, and motored back to the inn, realizing that although it may have cost about 11 cents per minute per person, we'd still have happy family memories as we struggle to pay the bills. :)

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Everest looms in the background Brilliantly-plumaged birds settling in for the evening
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"Have you seen any elephants?" "Glub glub!"
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Our last Disney ride A familiar sight - a lonely Monte waiting for us to return

Day 16 - Sunday, June 24th, 2012
Orlando, FL to Winter Haven, FL & back
94 miles

For several days now, the weather reports on the television foretold the arrival of Tropical Storm Debby, with torrential rains and possible flooding predicted for an already-damp Florida peninsula. But we desert dwellers don't know enough to stay out of the rain, and so we motored anyway through the muck and mist to the Winter Haven area. And then, we saw the rain-washed and brightly-colored walls and spires of the place that Duncan has "reallyreallyreally" wanted to go to for months - the brand-new Legoland Florida!

First, a bit of explanation. Duncan is absolutely obsessed about Legos (even more than Richard was back in the day, which is saying something), and describes himself to friends and others as a confessed "Legoholic". He has tens of thousands of bricks & pieces, some of them even tracing back to Richard's original building sets of the early 1970s, and spends days on end expanding his imagination with these clever plastic pieces. So to say that he was looking forward to this part of the trip would be quite the understatement, and Dunc was positively vibrating with excitement as we drove south on US 27 and west on highway 540.

As we arrived at the remarkably-empty parking lot, the staff was very polite and thorough in explaining that even though they were open for business to serve Lego fans young and old, the bad weather would mean that many rides were very likely to be shut down part of the day or even all day long. But, many exhibits would still be open - enough to keep us busy all day long, in fact. So, we forked over a big chunk 'o money and walked into the gates, happy that at least we wouldn't have to contend with heat, crowds, or long lines.

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The place Duncan has been dreaming of for months Maybe the lines will be short? Welc(Duncan)me!
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Wish you were here. Bring a raincoat. Yes, we understand - as long as you stay open long enough for us to see everything that's still operating...
First stop was at the "Factory" - although we don't think they actually make Legos there, this place did have a movie and exhibits that did show how industrial-grade acrylobutadienestyrene is converted into the stuff of childhood dreams through molding, forming, and other technological magic. There's also a place where kids (and adults) can make their own Lego mini-creations - Duncan whipped together an impressive spaceship along with the other plastic-wrapped visitors.
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How do they make them Legos? Today's magic word is: "acrylobutadienestyrene"! Even the restrooms get into the Lego spirit
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Big Lego buddy, little Lego buddy, and our buddy! Lego Buddy is pleased to be in the land of his people I made a spaceship!

Right next to here are indoor and outdoor play areas for kids to expend some energy - and for some reason, the indoor one was slightly more popular. More Legos & Duplos here, and Dunc made a smiley face for Mom & Dad's enjoyment, and then something resembling a t-shirt for protection from the rain.

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Having a roaring time, in spite of the wetness Precipitation doesn't even slow him down
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I made you a big smile to brighten your day! And now a T-shirt!

In the "Kingdoms" area (it seems only a coincidence that these areas are named after different lines of Lego kits, no?) we rode Merlin's Challenge, a spinny thing that brought smiles to our faces and the Royal Joust, where our young squire spurred a Lego horse around a track to lace his foes and win the favor of the fair.

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Once upon a time, there was a little boy from Arizona who reallyreallyreally loved Legos... A few rides were open, and we rode 'em when we could
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Slightly distorted by the velocity Sir Duncan rides off to defend the bumpy kingdom

And, of course, there was a gift shop with many days' worth of knights and other medieval items. Duncan wanted to buy a bunch of stuff, but we limited him to just one package of molded nobles, saying "we'll have time to go to the big gift shop later."

(if this was a TV episode, this is where the ominous background music comes in...)

Then off to the Land of Adventure! Although the roller coasters were rained out, the Beetle Bounce did shake the heck out of Duncan and other kids. And the indoor Lost Kingdom Adventure nearby, which looked like lots of fun - but there was a break in the weather, and so we told Duncan "we'll come back here later in the day."

(cue more ominous music)

Legoland also has a number of exhibit areas that showcase what amazing things can be done with sufficient bricks and sufficient imagination. On our way through the park, we saw dizzying dinosaurs, space scenes, and miniature replicas of such sights as Miami, San Francisco, Las Vegas ("hey look! There's where we got married!"), and the Kennedy Space Center. Very impressive.

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Dino-rific statuary Hope that R2 unit is waterproof! Roger that, we have spacecraft
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So are there little pandhandler minifigures too? This sounds fun - just have to get the ball over the bumps Still some vestiges of the original Cypress Gardens on the site

But we also knew that any respite in the rain would likely be very short-lived, and so we asked Duncan: "what outside thing do you want to more than anything else?" And so it was off across the park to the Lego Driving School, where kids can practice their traffic skills on an open street course, with stop signs and signals to obey, and small-scale markings denoting the lanes and turns.

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"I got to drive again!"

Yay! This was great! He turned left and right, yielding and accelerating in his little Lego car. A thoroughly great time, as he pulled to a stop with a huge smile.

And then all heck broke loose. A band of Debby's prodigious precipitation had caught up to the land of Lego, and in seconds the walkways were flooded and the runoff was rushing off the bumpy roofs. To a seven-year-old, this super splishing and splashing is all excellent fun, but to the parents (and more important, to the parents' assorted expensive gadgetry), shelter was needed - and soon.

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So this is what a tropical storm is like! Maintaining a positive attitude in spite of the moisture "That's not real Lego Buddy, because he's in my pocket. But he's someone dressed like him."

Look - there's the Imagination Zone. Do we build race cars, or have lunch first? Let's get lunch - "we can do the other stuff later."

(ominous music cue again)

We had barely sat down to munch on our paninis when the radios on the staff members' belts crackled, and suddenly the mood across the entire park changed for the worse.

A Lego staff member came over and said: "You're going to have to leave."

Our response: "Leave the restaurant?"

"No, leave the park. Now. We're closing Legoland immediately."

And so it was that we had to grab our half-eaten lunches and be herded with the other visitors inexorably toward the exits, with even a short stop to snap a photo receiving a rebuke from the staff. Bye-bye, New York - didn't get a chance to visit. So long, Fun Town Theater - not this time. Ciao, Cypress Gardens - your amazing scenery will go unseen by us. Farewell, Lost Kingdom - we'll never see your treasures while our son is this young.

But we still held out hope that the main Lego store would be open, and the staffers we encountered stated that they thought its doors wouldn't be shut for a while. Duncan anxiously worried as we walked quickly toward the front of the park.

And then we saw it, with its big letters ("spelling "BIG", in fact) right in front of us.

And a row of security staff, arms crossed, completely blocking the entrances. But not so completely that we couldn't see other visitors leisurely shopping within.

And this is where our otherwise well-behaved son came completely unglued. All the assurances by his parents: no good. All the money he'd saved up for this moment: too bad. All the wonderful items within, promised all day: no way. His tears mixed with the rain streaming down his face as the realization sunk in that the last and best thing he had to look forward to on this already-difficult day was now taken away by the stern and unfeeling management of Legoland.

(An aside here: the weather at this point was actually not that bad {and would remain manageable for the rest of the day}. The power was on, the drainage was functioning, and nothing had sprung a leak, from what we could see. There seemed no reason to just toss out all these people out who had paid so much to be here - and if the weather really was that bad, then why are you turning them loose into an open unprotected parking lot?)

Our son's rippling waves of overt unhappiness had caught the attention of a manager. There was a very brief discussion out of sight, and then an offer: "OK - you can come in, pick out ONE ITEM, pay, and leave immediately."

I think the sonic boom could have been heard for miles as Duncan zipped in, made a beeline for the Hero Factory section, picked out precisely one box, and then handed it to the register for payment. Meanwhile, Suzanne was right behind, with a tropical beach house kit in her hands.

"I thought I was included - and I only have one item too..."

And then we were escorted out of the Land of Legos and into the emptiness of the parking lot, where our lonely red Monte waited for us. Suz & Duncan stowed their stuff, while Richard pondered for a moment, made a decision, and made a determined path back toward the "Guest Services" booth, with a very grim expression on his face.

The lady behind the bulletproof glass had apparently been dealing most patiently with a constant stream of similar tales of woe, and reiterated the cautions given as we entered the park and the NO REFUNDS OR RAIN CHECKS policy in the exceedingly fine print on the backs of the ticket stubs. Richard calmly reminded her that the closing time of the park was clearly posted - a time that was still several hours in the future - and that we'd still expected many activities to be available regardless of the weather.

She filled out a photocopied form and asked that our tickets be surrendered for evidence.

Tickets? Back in the car. Trudge all the way back out to the parking lot, and all the way back...

We parted as she assured that someone would get back with us the next business day (no, that didn't happen either).

It was a long drive home - not just because of the weather (which as we had noted, wasn't all that bad), but because of the waves of seething unhappiness bouncing and bounding within the Monte's interior. We drove the winding two-lane back road of US 17 to try to help unwind, and through Davenport and Intercession City we splashed, seeing a side of central Florida as yet not as affected by overdevelopment. Then back into Orlando from the south along the far reaches of I-Drive, mixing with the traffic passing by other amusement parks that seemed to be having little problem with Debby's dumpings.

Our spirits were still somewhat damp as we rode the elevator back to the room and toweled off from our disastrous outing, and they stayed that way for a while, as Richard wrote a polite yet extremely pointed e-mail message that was almost setting the keys of the laptop on fire with its incendiary content. But eventually, things perked up, and when Duncan finally got to open his one package and assemble his new Hero Factory pal Rocka-XL, the ear-to-ear smile on his face went a long way in salvaging an expensive and difficult day.

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Many hours later, a child's spirits recover with the help of some expensive ABS plastic. And Duncan's last word: "And his armor is made out of the STRONGEST THING EVER!"

Epilogue: About a week later, we did get back in touch with the Legoland folks. Everything was settled to our satisfaction. :)


Day 17 - Monday, June 25th, 2012
in Orlando, FL
19 miles

One final day in the excitement capital of the East Coast. So what are we doing? Laundry, of course - and a somewhat-frustrating task of rounding up all our belongings strewn across two rooms and the bath.

But it wasn't a complete day of drudgery - Duncan got in a bit of swimming in between the bands of rain dumped by Tropical Storm Debby still swirling above the state, and the guys did wander out to fetch some pizza to pack away for the return trip.

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Is that a tropical storm on your state, or are you just happy to wet us? Only isolated tornadoes. Bouncing on the balcony
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Poolish panorama Goggle Boy conquers the hotel pool 'Fangs' a lot for the licorice!

As the evening hours approached and the suite started to actually resemble something habitable, we headed out one last time to seek fine dining (that, and refill the water jugs - Orlando-area tap water is quite... fragrant.)

Our mission: find an eating establishment different from what we have back in Phoenix, and is family-friendly - but most of all, affordable. A suggestion was made of Bob Evans, but a location search noted the closest locations weren't really all that close. A drive past the packed confines of Friendly's convinced us to keep rolling, and then a quick U-turn - look, Ponderosa! OK, it ain't a hoity-toity white-tablecloth 50-buck-a-plate place, but it promised Much Meat - and it delivered on that part, although the all-you-can-stuff-down-your-gullet buffet was merely OK.

And since this was Orlando, there was a gift shop right next door, with all sorts of shiny items of great interest to medium-size children. And it was our bad timing that just as Duncan was picking up a large glass item from the shelf to show the parent, a stray black hole or other gravitational anomaly suddenly materialized below him, causing the fragile and expensive item to fall out of Duncan's fingers and crash to its messy doom on the floor below.

"Oops. Sorry."

"You know we have to pay for it now, son."

A worker armed with whisk and dustpan appeared, said it was OK, that they appreciated the honesty but we wouldn't have to pay (thank you!) And the trip back to the hotel was occupied by a discussion of the inadvisability of touching fragile and expensive items, and then some final tidying and some rest in preparation for the long trip home.


Next Stage: Spanning the Country


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Latest Historical Revisionism 29 July 2012

Scripting: Richard C. Moeur
rcmoeur@aol.com

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